


a morning sunrise all the time

by soupytwist



Category: She Keeps Me Warm - Mary Lambert (Music Video)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soupytwist/pseuds/soupytwist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>this could be good / this could be good</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	a morning sunrise all the time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littledust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledust/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide, littledust! I hope you like this.
> 
> Thankyou to my beloved hand-holders and bear-wranglers, you're the best.

It isn't until the morning after, lying awake in Lauren's big double bed under the white-on-white patterned comforter, that Toni realizes she has never actually gone home with anyone before, and she doesn't know what to do. 

It barely seems real. But Boston is still on the other side of the window, and Toni is definitely there, staring at the ceiling because the alternative is looking at the somewhat creepy photo of an older couple, probably Lauren's parents, which is at just the right place on the dresser to _stare_ at her. She hadn't had time to notice it the night before, luckily. Unless it only just appeared, summoned by the parental judgement of exactly what she'd been _doing_ with their daughter. But that seems unlikely. 

The other option is staring at Lauren sleeping, which will definitely make her look like a stalker.

Lauren shifts a little in her sleep. Toni can't help turning towards her anyway. 

Lauren wakes up with a gratifyingly ridiculous snort, a sort of “huh” noise, and then “Dear God, please don't let her be a morning person” muttered into the pillow.

Toni shifts closer, and pulls the covers with her to make a kind of blanket fort for the two of them . “I am not a morning person and I resent the implication.”

Lauren yawns, reaches out a hand and pets Toni's shoulder idly. It makes her feel a bit like a cat, in a good way. “Good. You seem a decent person. I'd hate to kill you.”

Toni's mother may have sometimes bewailed her children's attachment to the television, but it does mean that Toni knows a _Princess Bride_ reference when she hears one. She's even seen it on probably her favourite of the hadn't-realized-it-was-a-date dates that have characterized her love life over the last few years.

“You seem a decent person; I'd hate to die.”

Lauren lights up. It's about then that Toni knows she's going to do whatever she can to see that look more often. If movie references are going to do that, she might have to renew her Netflix subscription.

–

They're having one of their regular study breakfasts three weeks later - one of the things Toni loves about Lauren is that she responds to Toni's confession that she wants to teach one day, pre-K if possible, by buying all the books on child development and early literacy on Toni's Amazon wishlist – when Lauren brings it up.

“Do you want to come with me on Sunday?”

“Uh, sorry? What?” One of the downsides of the study breakfasts is that they actually study, but only half hearing the question isn't what makes Toni nearly drop her packet of multicolored Post-It notes.

Lauren looks slightly embarrassed.

"If you want to come with me, I'm going to services at St Michaels, at the end of the street?"

Toni stares. "...do you want me to?" She doesn't want to, but she can't help thinking of her mom blinking back tears and saying she'd be welcome back if she would only go back to boys, and would she not come to services for Easter, at least? The two weeks of silence before her dad spoke to her again.

Lauren pours a glass of water, hands it over, and sits down. "If you want to? You don't have to. But I go every week, and I thought it might be nice if you knew a bit about what that means or something." She pauses. "There's usually cake? It's not... I know there's lots of reasons why you might not want to go, and I get that - I stopped going for a while once myself. And it's your decision. But I wouldn't be going if I didn't think it was okay."

Toni can't imagine Lauren going to any extreme sort of church. If she'd thought about it, she wouldn't have put Lauren, with her dirty laugh and tattoos and ability to send Toni's legs to jelly in two seconds or less, together with a church at all. "You stopped going once?"

“Yeah.” Lauren looks down at her plate a moment, before looking back up, all big, serious eyes. “It took a while to find somewhere right.”

That idea seems so completely far from Toni's previous interactions with religion that she feels slightly stunned. Maybe some of that comes through on her face, because Lauren suggests Dunkins. In Toni's experience, that means something's not right. In Toni's family, it usually means someone's in the hospital. Lauren's friends seem to come over with the coffee and donuts every other day, but Lauren herself never has so far. 

It's the sort of thing Toni grew up convinced would ruin all her potential happiness. Not church going itself, necessarily, but Toni's always been sure there'd be _something_. That the most gorgeous, perfect woman alive would turn out to have some sort of terrible flaw has always seemed inevitable. Some reason for her to turn Toni away. It's not rational, though, so Toni eats a sugary donut and drinks some sugary coffee and tries not to borrow trouble.

The following Sunday, she gets up in time to make some better coffee for Lauren to take with her. It's the best she can do.

\--

A couple of months go by. Toni gets a preliminary teaching license and goes part time at the coffee shop, to let her do a placement at a school a couple of blocks down the street. She still does Thursday nights, though, and she's glad, because Lauren's book group still meet at 6pm on Thursdays and now some of them are her friends, too.

It's one of the many things Toni didn't expect. Toni mostly sees her friends individually, catching up or catching a movie. Lauren's friends are a group, a team: having Max casually ask if she knows about a new band or Shandice yell “Hey Toni, we're going to the movies after, wanna come?” feels like a revelation. 

The Sunday ritual of Lauren getting up and kissing Toni goodbye, going to church, and then coming home with bagels helps too. 

\--

They don't really have a first fight, it's more a first mutual crying on the stairwell. Lauren even manages a snotty-tissued joke about lesbian stereotypes in the middle of it. Toni knows she's terrible at confrontation – she's tried, and it has never worked – but it seems to matter much less than she ever imagined it could. They talk about everything and nothing, until they get too cold and crawl into bed and reassure each other as best they can.

\--

Somehow it gets to New Year, and the terrible inevitability still hasn't happened. Boston is cold and Toni can't help worrying with every step. Lauren likes giant fuzzy mittens which allow her to keep her fingers tucked against Toni's wrist while also staying warm. Toni has never appreciated that more.

It makes it easier to believe that her family would see the beauty in Lauren too.

When they arrive, Lauren is immediately set upon by three of Toni's younger cousins. Apparently six year old boys are really into lesbians this year, or something, because they catch sight of some of Lauren's ink as she takes off her coat and are bonded for life. Toni's dad stands up, but only to greet them before sitting right back down again. Toni tries to see this as at least better than just ignoring them entirely. She mostly succeeds.

Dinner is mostly fine: plate after plate of meze, because the one thing Toni's mom takes as seriously as her job as a lab technician is her job as a provider of more Greek food than anyone could possibly eat. It's punctuated by all four younger cousins trying to talk over each other at once, two of Toni's older cousins briefly trying to debate politics and being shut down by Toni's dad, and Toni's grandmother complaining about Toni's sister not being here for the holidays, until Toni's mom turns to Lauren and asks, “Lauren, what do you study?”

They spend the rest of the evening swapping questions. Toni already knew that Lauren is studying for her MA in English at BU, she knew that Lauren has a favorite section of the Dewey Decimal System. But with her family asking, it's like viewing the picture from a different angle entirely. Toni's always found Lauren charming, but it's something different to see her charm someone else. 

They even get to kiss at midnight. Not PDA or anything, but they all count down, smallest cousins bouncing up and down in their pajamas at each number, and at “Happy New Year!”, Toni turns and Lauren is there, smiling.

Later, Toni and her mom are washing up the plates - Toni doesn't care that much about New Year cake but Lauren got the coin in her slice and was thrilled - while Lauren helps put the younger cousins to bed.

“You've never brought anyone home before, are you sure?”

“Yes, Mom.”

“If it had to be a girl, she seems nice.”

“Uh, thanks.” Toni resists the urge to actually flick her mom in the face with a dish towel, because that way lies madness and not winning the argument anyway.

“Maybe you two can make the vasilopita next year.”

“Mom!” The response is instinctive, but Toni also immediately pictures Lauren baking: laughing, pushing her hair off her face and leaving a dusting of flour behind. She can't help smiling at the knowledge that Lauren would be laughing and getting flour in her hair even if she burned the cake.

–

They walk back to Lauren's place through the Common. There are quicker ways, but neither of them wants to rush when they can ignore the party-goers and just walk through the peaceful night, trees on either side silhouetted black. Toni starts swinging their joined hands in jubilation.

“We survived!”

Lauren laughs, swings back. “We did.” She then gets a look on her face that Toni has never seen before and slows down, walking and swinging going to a more natural breathing pace. “I was hoping... would you like to look at apartments sometime? Like, um, for us to live in.”

Toni stares. She does a lot of that around Lauren. “You're asking that after you just met my family.”

“Yeah, I am.” Lauren smiles, nervously.

Toni can't help it; she laughs. “Let's do it. I'd love to.” 

They keep walking through the city, and it feels like every street light comes on as they go by.


End file.
